But They Might Help 😊
Good Day my Sisters!
When you're a woman trying to think of sweet things to say to your man, it makes sense to try and remember the details of his personality that have caused you to think that you know him and need him at all. The cute things that you say to him to encourage him daily and re-enforce his confidence in his own masculinity, will be your ammunition that can win the war on emotional and relational division. I’m not sure if you witnessed your mom say or do intentional pleasantries for your dad back in the day… But it is basically a juggling act of balancing your own life, the lives of your family, and the importance of being your husband’s biggest cheer-leader!
Personally, I was raised in a household where traditional ideals of masculinity and what it means to be "a man" and the femininity of “a woman” were always on display. But then one day I realized that the key to what made their relationship work is the way she always asks him to open jars for her. Or how she would slip him money under the table to pay the waiter himself, even though he was indeed the provider but he just didn’t have any cash on him. She was secure in her role as wife and made intentional strides to make him secure in his role as strong, needed and appreciated husband. That might sound extra kind, old fashion or basically ridiculous to you, but I think it's absolutely true and needed.
Yet they both still recognized and appreciated the important little things that each could do in order to make her feel "like a woman" and him feel "like a man." Showing appreciation and reinforcing your mate’s security in their position as major contributions to the betterment of your life.
While such distinctions and gestures might sound silly and outdated, and while in many respects they are — it doesn't take a man, let alone a manly man, to pop open a jar of dill pickles. But for my parents, this was and is about more than quick access to the contents of those jars.
These are simple daily deliberate gestures, that convey in a loving way, that you respect and admire the differences in you two as individuals. Opportunities that are presented throughout the day to acknowledge his masculinity, intelligence, provision, fatherhood and hard-work. An excuse to convey your appreciation of the loving ways in which he takes care of you. And the sooner you master the art of being his personal cheerleader that quickly recognizes his: efforts; accomplishments; sound decisions; performance and excellent integrity. The sooner you will embrace those non-verbal moments in time, where it results in the “S” materializing on his chest, and the impact of the swagger on his stride as he walks away.
We believe as Christians that God deserves our praise! And He is worthy of all the Glory! We acknowledge that our children will develop to become better adults if they are fed on a healthy balanced diet of celebration, acknowledgement, and recognition. And not just a steady intake of constant: correction; criticizing; blame and reprimand. Then it would stand to make sense how our husband’s would respond if we directly engaged with and spoke life to their egos at every golden moment. Our husband’s are the only individuals that can’t seem to get verbal affirmations without an act of congress 😊
Now let’s be honest… While "being manly" doesn't mean that you are more of a man. It's something that many men sincerely appreciate, and this is especially true when they are made to feel good about their masculine nature by the woman they're in love with.
Here are 17 sweet, tiny things women can do that make men feel like a man who's loved, special and needed.
1. Sleeping while he drives.
"This is when I really feel like an adult. My wife and little girl sleeping, while I drive through the darkness, on our way home from a place far away. There is just something humbling about it."
2. Calling him the man.
"She called me 'the man [she loves]'. Not 'the guy' or 'the boy', but 'the man'. It might sound weird in English, but in my language, it's pretty satisfying."
3. Waiting for his help.
"When we lift together she can't reach the pull-down bar so she lifts her hands up and waits for me to bring it down to her."
4. Wearing his clothes.
"Wears my clothes. I love it. No idea why. I guess it makes me feel protective or something."
5. Getting clingy the right way.
"When we would both be laying down cuddling, she would have her leg draped over me, her head on my chest, and if I made a sudden movement like get up to use the restroom or get some water she'd pull me back in as if saying not to leave. I'd nudge her a bit and tell her what I was gonna do, and she'd say, 'OK, but come back to me' all in a sleepy tone! Instant heart melt!"
6. Checking him out.
"After 21 years and five kids, I still catch her checking me out whenever I'm doing yard work or working on a car or building something in the garage."
7. Asking for bear hugs.
"A girl I used to date, when she felt bad would hold our her arms and just say 'bear hug' and I'd wrap my arms around her and lift her, putting my face in her hair and I could feel her lips on the side of my head smiling. Sometimes I'd get bear hug requests and carry her from the bed to the couch when she was all frumpy and sad on the weekends."
8. Treating him like a king.
"When she giggles when I pick her up, or when she brings me a drink/food without me asking. I feel like a king getting served and like she's looking out for me and cares."
9. Rubbing his beard.
"When she rubs my jaw. I don’t have much facial hair, but when she rubs my jaw just right it makes the stubble bristle."
10. Talking about him to friends.
"When I overhear my wife tell her friends how lucky she is having me and all the things I do that make her feel special."
11. Letting him cook the meat.
"I get to cook all the meat. She doesn't like touching raw meat ... and she says I'm better at cooking it anyway. No complaints about that."
12. Using him as a teddy bear.
"When I was driving us home late at night, my ex would sleep snuggled up with her head on my shoulder, hand on my bicep, holding my arm to her chest like a little girl with her teddy bear. She had terrible anxiety and trust issues and really put up a tough front, so those moments of trust and vulnerability were like a drug to me."
13. Trusting him to take the wheel.
"She asks me to drive, regardless of whose vehicle we are in. She doesn’t tell me how to drive, she doesn’t get scared or nervous when I drive like an idiot (I drive a Mini so I drive [crazy] more than I should). She simply lets me do what I need to do in order for us to get where we’re going."
14. Letting him know he's appreciated.
"How every day we write down a list of things we are grateful for in a 'Gratitude Journal' she made for me as a little heartfelt gift for Valentine’s Day. The lists usually have a bunch of silly things but she always starts her list with my name and I always start mine with hers. On a bad day, she will write my name over and over on her list and hand it to me with a kiss."
15. Relaxing in his arms.
"She snuggles up and then relaxes. I can feel the tension come out of her. Best feeling in the world, knowing you have that effect on the person you love."
16. Getting girly about his muscles.
"Sometimes when I'm on top of her, she says 'flex your arms', and I throw up a solid front double bi. She giggles and grabs my arms ... I feel like a king."
17. Telling him exactly how manly he is — and why.
"She's actually much better than me at tinkering around in the house. Thing is I grew up in an apartment and tinkering around was never really needed, so I never really learned to do it. I can handle a hammer and a screwdriver but anything more advanced than that ... ehh less so ... She on the other hand, grew up in a house, outside town with a really handyman kind of dad as opposed to my dad who is a nerd.
"So anyway, we were installing new door locks in the house and she had to show me how it's done and I just listened and followed her instructions. She says she finds it a huge turn on that I accept that a woman gives me instructions for a typically manly thing. I asked her why? She says, 'Because most men would feel their masculinity damaged in such a situation. You however are manly enough to not need to prove it to me through stuff like this.'
"I felt like Tim the Tool Man Taylor. lol"
Sis, get your Skirt & Pom Poms out and leave me a Praise Report on how it's changed your man's spirit!!
Becoming a Wife of Excellence,