Updated: Mar 11
People make all sorts of excuses and have many reasons for not having sex:
I’m too tired.
We had a fight.
I’m just not feeling it anymore.
It takes too long.
My body just isn’t going there.
We need to work on the relationship first.
But do you remember how incredible it was when you and your partner were in the throes of early passion?
That feeling of never being able to get enough of each other.
The incredible amount of energy you had every morning, even if you had to get up early to go to work.
The surge of hope, possibility, and excitement you felt about yourself and your future together. It was like taking the very best kind of drug.
Because it was. Connecting sexually creates energetic and physical changes in your body. The chemistry you felt was an actual change in your blood chemistry, which then sent messages to your brain. It’s not some kind of illusion. Through sex, your body gets pumped with what the ancients call vital life force—a powerful wellspring of health, vitality, and nourishment.
While I do believe that a person in tune with the Lord can have a certain knowing that he or she has met the special someone, we fool ourselves if we think we can plumb the depths of mature love within a short, initial meeting. Deep, true love doesn’t happen overnight. Neither does mature romance. Those things happen when each person makes Jesus Christ he or her reason for living, not the potential spouse. Real love, the kind that burns strong though the decades, comes as a direct result of a sacred romance with Jesus.
When women stop focusing on their husbands as the only means of filling the emptiness in their souls and start focusing on Jesus Christ, a new love spring forth. A special love, A love that doesn’t wane even in the face of conflict or a husband’s imperfections. This love comes straight from the heart of God and permeates the marriage with a honey-like glow. No human being is capable of this king of selfless love; it only comes through the Lord. It fully matures after a woman has spent hours a week, month in and month out, allowing the Lord to purify her heart and carve her into His image.
No marriage can have true intimacy until we are willing to allow God total access to our hearts. If a woman is resisting the Lord and refuses to develop intimacy with the force that created her, then she will like-wise never experience that melting-all-over-each-other intimacy with her husband. If we keep out God, then we will inadvertently keep out our mates. Only after we relinquish every fiber of our being to the Lord are we capable of being a conduit of the selfless kind of love that being a Godly spouse is all about. It happens as a result of true and intentional nakedness with God and your husband.
Heightened marital romance only occurs after deep intimacy and romance with God has been achieved. God becomes the force upon which out being is centered. This allows our husbands freedom to be themselves, to simply be human beings, to be free of the pressure of wives who believe their mates should be perfect. Releasing our all to the Lord allows us to sacrificially love our husbands the way they are, without that ‘need’ to change them.
However, just because a woman is a Christian and attends church does not guarantee that she is truly intimate with Jesus Christ. No matter what the problem, only one solution remains: Spend Time With God Everyday! If not everyday, at least several times a week. Put in that worship music, plop onto your couch close your eyes, and sit in His presence for at least 30 minutes to an hour a day. Don’t ask Him for a thing. Don’t request that He would change your husband or anybody else. Simply turn your heart toward Him, think about Him, and ask Him to permeate your being, to carve you into His image, to show you how to love your husband. After you have spent time in worship, soaking Him up, then bring your requests to Him. After request time, then read your Bible. And in the presence of God, the Bible leaps to life and ministers to me in a dynamic, life-changing way. A divine intimacy develops through regularly absorbing the presence of God.
From that supernatural romance, God’s power will flow through you and supercharge your marriage with a love straight from heaven. God’s unconditional Love will ooze from you. The more I seek after God, the stronger spiritually I’ll become, the more I will allow God to change me, the less I focus on my husband’s flaws. Opening up a relationship of free flowing unconditional love. Amazing isn’t it that a woman can hold that much God-ordained power? Commit time for romance with God and your husband!
As a Wife that's Constantly Striving and Learning,
Author Adia Dozier
Called to be a Wife Devotional
Perfecting Her Craft, LLC
A Literary Company